Regret the Past, Fear the Future
by arcadie
Summary: Chapter Six AU Attending a prestigious school, Raenef is barely passing and discontent with life. Enter a new teacher who goes by E to only further complicate Raenef's life. RaenefxEclipse.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer:_ Don't own.

**:Regret the Past/Fear the Future:**

**:Chapter One:**

"Raenef!"

Raenef blinked slowly, like a cat, and stretched languidly in bed. Then he looked at the clock.

"Crap!" He yelped and rolled out of bed and started running to the bathroom when he realized that whoever woke him up was still calling his name and pounding on the door. He skidded across the tiled floor in his socks and opened it up. Chris was standing there, looking irate, holding Raenef's book bag.

"Late?"

"Just a little," Chris said, wryly, and let himself in and settled down on the white couch while Raenef ran to the bathroom. He came back out with a toothbrush in his mouth, toothpaste foaming and collecting at the corners of his mouth.

"You left this at my house," Chris said. "I'm guessing you got no homework done?"

"We had homework?" Raenef asked, innocently, through the foam. Chris groaned.

"You promised, Raenef! You promised you were going to study and pass your classes! You know Erutis is going to kill you if you don't make it into a university. I'll kill you too. We're all supposed to go to the same college, remember?"

Raenef felt guilty; Erutis and Chris were basically his only friends. And they had made a pact that they were going to all stay together, three parentless orphans against the world. Or something like that. He didn't particularly care for school or grades so the guilt mainly came from letting Erutis and Chris down.

"I'll work harder," Raenef insisted. "It's only the second month of school, you know. I have time to bring my grades up."

"Yeah right. Well, being late isn't going to help so hurry up!"

Raenef ran back to the bathroom and spat out the toothpaste. Rinsing his mouth, he raked a brush through his flaxen hair, searching for a hair tie. He bent forward, gathering his hair.

"Where's Erutis?" Raenef called.

"She's meeting us at the front gate but I don't think she'll be there anymore. It's already twenty past eight. She won't be late waiting for us."

Raenef flipped his head back and secured the ponytail. He frowned at his reflection, leaning forward until his nose almost touched the mirror. He looked so damn feminine. What was it? The hair? The nose? The lips? The eyelashes? Chris had long eyelashes and long hair and _he_ didn't look like a girl.

"HURRY UP!" Chris bellowed. Raenef sighed and left his reflection. Looking like a girl was the least of his worries at the moment.

Still dressed in the rumpled t-shirt and flannel pants that he slept in, Raenef grabbed a piece of toast that had been laying on the kitchen table since the night before and stuck it in his mouth. He took his book bag and ushered Chris out, locking the door behind him. His apartment was a one bedroom apartment that Raenef somehow managed to pay rent for with work. It helped that it was in a slummy part of town so the rent was way cheaper than other places of the same size in nice parts of the city. It was too small for Chris or Erutis to live in and share the rent; they found a place together in another part of the city and shared the rent there.

Raenef didn't want to ask if they were sleeping together but he kind of suspected it. Maybe that was why he didn't feel as motivated to get good grades and stick with them. What's their trio going to be like with two of them together? He didn't want to be a third wheel. He was his parents' third wheel and look where that position got him. On the streets begging for food, that's where. Though he highly doubted that Chris and Erutis would leave him like that, sometimes he wondered if maybe they wouldn't particularly mind if he didn't…follow them.

He felt so…loosely tied together. Like he was always on the verge of breaking down. Raenef had that weird nervous, anxious feeling in his stomach often, his molars aching, like he was about to fall apart. Whenever that happened, he just grit his teeth and kept barreling forward in his life, moving too fast to regret the things in the past or fear the things in the future. Always keep moving so the breakdown won't catch up with you.

"Damn," Chris muttered. They approached the school gates and already there was one of the faculty members standing there, waiting to note kids down for tardiness. It was a tough, prestigious school with a long waiting list; the only reason Raenef got in was through his high test scores. Erutis claimed that was proof that he wasn't dumb but Raenef wasn't sure. He felt like those entrance exam scores were a fluke, but whatever, at least it got him into the same school as Erutis and Chris.

"I would put you two in detention right now," was the teacher's greeting, as she let them through the gates. "Except there's a new teacher for your class and you need to get acquainted with him."

Chris shot Raenef a look, eyebrows raised, a smile tugging at his lips. New teacher? Now there was something interesting to break up the monotony of their life.

"Raenef, why are you not in your uniform?"

"I'm so sorry, Ms. H, but I slept in. You know how boys are, can't ever get enough sleep," Raenef said, with what he hoped was a dazzling smile. Charisma and test scores. Those were basically Raenef's lifesavers. Raenef made his exit and hurried past her but Ms. H grabbed Chris' sleeve.

"Don't think you're off the hook," she said. "I have your name written down; if you don't come to the library at lunch for a study hall detention, I'll have to come find you." Chris groaned. How did Raenef always manage to stay out of trouble? He blamed it on Raenef's innocent look. Too bad that sneaky little bastard knew more than enough of what was going on around him.

"I'll be there," he said, heavily, and walked towards the school a lot more slowly than Raenef had.

"You have a new teacher and you'll show him disrespect by sauntering to class?" Ms. H barked. Chris sighed and picked up his step. He definitely had to have Raenef teach him how to give that puppy look; it seemed to come in handy a lot.

* * *

Raenef slowly opened the door, while the new teacher's back was turned, apparently writing something on the board. Probably his name. Or her name. Whoever the new teacher was, they had long, black hair, almost hitting the back of their knees, tied loosely at the nape of their neck. The figure seemed to tall to be a woman. Raenef guessed that the new teacher was a guy.

He opened the door and quickly closed it behind him, crouching on the floor. His seat was in the back row so if he could only squeeze past Erutis without being seen by the teacher, he would be in the clear…

At that moment, the teacher turned around and confirmed Raenef's suspicions that he was, in fact, male. Unfortunately, he also caught side of Raenef crawling past Erutis, who had her chair pushed as far back as possible, feet up on her seat so that Raenef could get by.

"And who is this new addition? Don't think I can't see you; stand up."

Raenef froze. The voice was silky, maybe even a little bit seductive. He knew he couldn't disobey it. Slowly, Raenef straightened up, keeping his eyes down, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He heard a low ripple of chuckling among his classmates. They found his tardiness to be endearing, not disrespectful. It was just how Raenef was and they knew that. Though Erutis and Chris were his only friends, he was, for the most part, well liked by most of his classmates. The same sweetness that charmed his teachers worked on his peers. There were the random floaters that disliked Raenef for various reasons, his femininity, his immaturity, or whatever else they happened to find grating.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Raenef said, eyes still trained on the ground.

"And you are?" Raenef heard papers rustling and he guessed the teacher was looking for the attendance roll.

"Chris or Raenef?" he asked. "You look like a Raenef."

"_I'm_ Chris," Chris said, pushing the door open, looking irate. "So you guessed right."

"I don't recall asking you what your name was," was the smooth, silky reply. He sounded like a serene cat, masking annoyance with amusement. Raenef chanced a look up and smothered a small gasp.

He was much younger than Raenef expected, yes. He was also a lot more good-looking, in a scary sort of way. His eyes were an odd shade of purple and hanging from his left earlobe was a crescent moon earring. He didn't look like he belonged at this school. Raenef wondered how good of a teacher he was that he got the job despite his questionable appearance.

"I'm sorry, what?" Raenef asked, eyes wide. He realized this man's lips had been moving and the words were directed towards him.

"I am asking you why you are late," he said. Was he annoyed? Raenef searched his face and found none of the masked annoyance that was present when he was talking to Chris. He took this as a good sign and attempted to sweeten the teacher.

"I live alone so there's no one to wake me up except for my alarm," he said, widening his eyes even further. He tilted his pointy chin down and tried to look as innocent as possible. "I think I forgot to set my alarm..." His classmates chuckled. One of them called out, "Raenef does it all the time. Mr. Gorlois didn't have a problem with it."

"Yes well, I'm not Mr. Gorlois," the teacher said, but a smile was beginning to form on his lips. "But I'll let you slide for today, Raenef. Take your seat."

Raenef settled down next to Erutis and tried to avoid her venomous glances. She wrote something in her notebook and pushed it to Raenef.

_Why are you late? _

Raenef scribbled below it, _I didn't lie. I really did forget to set my alarm_.

Erutis glanced at it and wrote something and pushed the notebook back.

_Did you do your homework?_

Raenef hesitated.

_Sure_.

He pushed the notebook back. Erutis raised a coppery eyebrow. Raenef ignored her. Which wouldn't have been very hard to do considering Raenef was very easily distracted by the teacher standing in the front of the room.

"You can call me E," he said.

"What's it short for?" a student asked.

"I'd rather not say."

"Why not? It can't be that embarrassing," Raenef said, before he could stop himself.

"Oh really?" E said, looking at Raenef until the boy sunk lower into his seat. "I suppose Raenef is an odd enough name as well."

"Lay off of Raenef's name," Chris said, irritably. "It's not like he made it himself."

E shrugged.

"I suppose not." And went right back to teaching class.

The bell rang and Chris immediately came over by Erutis and Raenef. He sat near the back as well but not anywhere near Raenef and Erutis. He used to sit by them but had his seat moved after the last teacher caught him with his hand up Erutis' skirt during class.

"Okay, is it just me or does _E_ give you guys the creeps?" he asked, quietly.

Erutis shrugged. "Maybe you're just weirded out by his hair," she said, sensibly.

"Yeah or maybe the way he was hitting on Raenef the whole class," he said, sounding crabby.

"_What_?" Raenef hissed, cheeks turning red. "Shut up, someone might hear and get the wrong idea."

"He was," Chris insisted. "Did you see the way he looked at you? He definitely screams "pedophile" to me."

"Hey, I'm over the age of consent, thanks," Raenef said.

"Yeah but you still look like you're twelve," Chris pointed out. "I'm just saying, you should be careful."

"Oh right, Chris, because the new teacher can _really_ molest Raenef in the middle of class in front of everyone," Erutis said sarcastically.

"Raenef's too innocent and girly looking. You never know," Chris said.

"Raenef?" All three of them jumped at the new voice. They looked up and found E looking at Raenef. Raenef could almost feel Chris' "_I told you so_" look that he must be giving Erutis. He would have even checked to see if he was right except whenever E was looking at him, he wasn't quite sure if he could look away.

"Yes?" he asked, his voice coming out as a squeak.

"Could I have a word with you before your next class?"

"Um, yeah sure, I guess," Raenef said.

"Privately?" E said, coolly, looking at Erutis and Chris. Now Raenef _did_ intercept the look that Chris gave Erutis.

"Be careful," Chris said, lowly, patting Raenef on the shoulder. Raenef rolled his eyes as his friends left the room. His exasperation disappeared as the door closed behind him and he found himself standing alone in the classroom, E standing in front of his desk, waiting for Raenef. Raenef swallowed. And started walking.


	2. Chapter 2

**: Chapter Two :**

"Pervert or what? I told you so," Chris said. He had one foot up on a soccer ball; Raenef had found him after school was out, kicking around the soccer ball in the dusty sand field in the back of the building.

Raenef sat at the curb, kicking at the ground with the heels of his feet. The bottoms of his pants were getting dusty from the dirty sand.

"He's not a pervert," Raenef said. "He just wanted to talk…"

"About?" Chris prompted. "And why would he single you out unless he had something for you, huh?"

"I think you overestimate how good-looking I am," Raenef said, tugging at one of the blonde strands that fell across his eyes. His ponytail, pulled high on top of his head, was spiky and wild, like a pineapple top.

"Please," Chris said, and kicked the ball gently towards Raenef, who stopped it with his slender fingers. "I never said you were good-looking. But you do look like a little kid. And that's what perverts like."

"Thanks," Raenef grumbled. "That's the second time you said I looked young today. You do know that gets really annoying after awhile, don't you?" He pushed the ball back to the black-haired boy.

"Can't deny the truth," Chris said, shrugging. "But it's okay. It makes people like you. Unfortunately that includes pedophiles but there's not a lot of them in the world so you don't have it bad at all."

He kicked the ball back; Raenef caught the ball between his hands and bounced it on the ground several times, making little clouds of dust erupt every time the dull, black and white ball hit the sand.

"So what did he want to talk about?" Chris asked again.

Raenef sighed. "You have to promise not to tell Erutis."

"Uh oh. It's about grades, isn't it?" Chris said, scowling. "That's the only thing you can't talk to 'Ru about."

"It's because Erutis is damn scary when it comes to school, okay?" Raenef snapped. "I don't see you running to her after you fail a test."

"It's because I never fail tests," Chris said, smirking. "But that's a bad example because neither do you. If you're good at anything, it's taking tests."

"Standardized tests," Raenef corrected. "I still fail a lot of the quizzes."

"And end up acing the finals and midterms anyway so you pass."

"Well maybe not this year," Raenef finally said. He let out all the air in his lungs, letting the ball drop to the ground.

"_Failing?_" Chris whispered. "You're _failing?_"

Raenef looked up at his friend guiltily. "Maybe."

"Raenef!" Chris exploded. "Why didn't you say so, you idiot? I could have helped you! Given you the homework! Covered for you! Studied with you!"

It was Raenef's turn to scowl.

"With what time? The minute Erutis gets out of whatever anger management sports therapy she's taking at the moment, you go running to her!"

"That's not true, Raenef," Chris said. "And you know it. First off, we _live_ together. Of course we spend time together if we live in the same apartment! Secondly, if you haven't notice, _you're_ the one that keeps running off whenever it's the three of us hanging out together."

"Am not," Raenef said, sullenly.

"Yeah?" Chris challenged. "How about all those times when you're just like 'see ya!' and disappear for days? You're like part hermit, I swear. You get so antisocial sometimes it's like you don't even like Erutis and me anymore."

"Or is it that you and Erutis can't keep your hands off of each other whenever you guys get within a five foot range so I have to leave if I want to keep my lunch where it belongs- in my _stomach_?" Raenef shot back.

Chris held up his hands.

"I don't want to fight," he said. "Not right now, and especially not when you're failing. What do you need help in?"

Raenef sighed; Chris was right. "Math, bio, and history."

"Erutis is better at history than I am…"

"We are _not_ letting Erutis know about this," Raenef said, scowling. "I can get my grades up. I'll be passing in no time. If you let Erutis know, you're dead."

"Fine, fine. You win," Chris said. "You're place?"

Raenef checked his book bag.

"Oh wait, sorry," Raenef said, digging through the canvas tote. "I think I lost my pencil pouch somewhere. You go first, take my keys. I won't be long."

"I can just come with you," Chris offered.

"No, go ahead." Raenef pushed the keys into Chris' hands and left the field, leaving Chris to look at Raenef's retreating back. He shrugged.

"Okay fine, but you better have some food at your apartment this time, punk," he muttered.

* * *

Raenef had a pretty good idea where he left his pencil pouch. And he was also vaguely hoping that a certain someone would still be in the classroom.

"_Well Raenef, do you know why I asked you to stay?" E asked. Raenef's breath caught in his throat. He detested people that were simpered and were so incoherent in front of a good looking person but suddenly, he found that he could barely put together a single sentence._

"_Um…no," Raenef said. His voice sounded shaky and he swore internally. E was even more intimidating up close. Strands of silky black hair fell across the front of his black shirt. Billowy sleeves gathered at the wrist and he was wearing straight-legged black pants that made his legs seem unrealistically long. Raenef blinked a couple of times and pretended like he wasn't just staring._

"_Your previous teacher left all the records for me," E said. "Attendance…grades." _

_Raenef shrunk._

"_I have to say," E continued. "I'm impressed with both…but not in a particularly good way."_

"_I'm sorry; I guess Hisa was right. I am tardy quite often," Raenef said. "It's just that if it's not my alarm that wakes me up, it's the afternoon garbage man."_

"_Do you live alone?" E inquired. "I thought I had heard you wrong but perhaps not."_

"_I do."  
_

"_Where are you parents, if you don't mind me asking?" E took a step closer and Raenef felt a prickling sensation begin at his fingertips and hairline, working its way through his whole body until he felt electrified, overly sensitive to the heat impinging off of E's body onto his own. Raenef pushed the feeling away; he wasn't stupid or sappy. He just had an overactive imagination! Raenef rubbed at his arms to get rid of the sensation._

"_I don't know," Raenef said. "I lived in an orphanage when I was younger. I don't remember my parents."_

"_I'm sorry," said E, in a softer, sweeter voice than Raenef imagined could come from such an intimidating person. _

"_No, it's fine," Raenef said. "I mean, I don't even remember them. Erutis remembers but she won't tell us about them. I think it's worse for her."_

"_I see." _

Oh whoops,_ Raenef thought. _Definitely talking too much. Revealing too much. _Raenef internally kicked himself; he always talked too much. Chris and Erutis told him all the time._

"_Grades?" Raenef asked._

"_To be completely blunt, you're failing history, math, and biology. Your previous midterm and finals grades seem to be more than adequate; they're one of the top marks in the class. But your homework, participation, and quizzes seem lacking. The same for your history papers; you received more than full credit on your last semester's final paper but it looks like you didn't turn in anything else."_

"_Oh."_

"_Yes, 'oh' seems to be an appropriate response," E said. "That was the same reaction I had; clearly you're a smart person, Raenef. Make sure you give me reason to think that."_

"_Is there anything I can do to make up the missed points so far?" Raenef asked. He _never_ asked for extra credit work before. This E really is a good teacher._

"_I think being consistent in your participation, homework, and quizzes from here on out will be sufficient for a good grade," E said. "I don't see why I might not let you go for the first several weeks of the semester; after all, Raenef, I'm new as well. We might as well both get a fresh start."_

"_Wow, really? You'd do that?" Raenef asked. He felt his eyes getting wide; he stopped himself. "Puppy eyes" was what Erutis and Chris called them. He also knew it made him look like he was about ten years old. He didn't want to look like he was ten in front of E._

"_Yes, but only if I see a change in you as well," E said. _

"_Thanks a lot, mister!" Raenef said, beaming._

"_I asked the students to call me 'E,'" he said, looking amused. _

"_Oh." Raenef thought for a moment. "Hey, mister, can I ask you something?"_

_Now a smile was definitely starting to play around E's mouth. "Yes?" _

"_Is your full name really that embarrassing?" _

_Finally, E's tiny small widened until a chuckle escaped; it was low and smooth and Raenef desperately wanted to hear it again. _

"_You are dismissed, Raenef." _

Raenef got to the classroom and peered in through the window in the door. He felt his stomach sink vaguely in disappointment. It was empty. He did spy his light blue, almost gray now, pencil pouch sitting on his seat in the back. He must have dropped it during class that morning. Raenef opened the door and retrieved it, slipping it into his big tote. He sat down onto the chair for a minute and sighed. He did a lot of sighing lately; there was a lot to be overwhelmed about.

Grades were one thing. Fine, he'll study and try to bring his grades up; he couldn't deny that he didn't exactly put a lot of energy into school. It might cut into his work time but he didn't want to fail out of school, especially when he was so close to graduating anyway. Then he'd be off to a university of Chris and Erutis, tagging along as the third stupid wheel.

Raenef wondered if he could continue working when he was in college. Erutis knew about his work and disapproved. Chris suspected about his work and disapproved, but never asked about it because if he asked about it, he would find out that it was the truth and be disappointed. Raenef knew that Chris would rather suspect and never be sure than to find out the truth and have to rethink what kind of person he thought Raenef was.

Would other people in college judge him like that? Raenef didn't even want to imagine how kids in his class _now_ would react if they knew. How would E react? Raenef frowned. He hoped E would be a little more understanding.

The door suddenly opened behind him. Raenef jumped out of his seat and turned around, clutching his bag. He suddenly flushed red at seeing who it was.

"Oh, hi again," Raenef said. His voice was shaky again.

"Leave something or that excited to start bringing up your grades?" E asked.

"Oh um," Raenef patted his bag. "I left my pencil pouch." He thought of something.

"Can I ask you a question?" Raenef asked. E raised his eyebrow.

"You just have," he said. Raenef groaned.

"Oh god," he said. "My kindergarten teacher used that on me. It's so cheesy. Oh! I'm sorry, not that you're cheesy. I'm just…talking too much…" Raenef's voice trailed off. He searched, almost pleadingly, for a sign of amusement in E's face. There! There was a flicker of a smile. But no chuckle.

"Well?" E asked. "Your question?"

"What?" Raenef had to think back to what it was. "Oh yeah, how old are you, mister?"

There it was, that low, wonderful laugh.

"School is over, Raenef," E said. "You should go and enjoy the weather. Or do your homework."

"Okay, okay," Raenef said. "I'm eighteen, by the way."

"Yes well, I gathered considering you are a senior."

"I was just asking because I can't guess how old you are. I'm usually really good with ages, you know. I'm really good at guessing; I even guessed Meruhesae's age first try! She was shocked."

"Meruhesae?" E asked.

Raenef suddenly blushed again, realizing how…flashy the name sounded. It sounded like a name for a…

"Uh, she's just an acquaintance of mine," Raenef quickly said. "Anyway, I thought it'd be rude to ask you your age without telling you mine but I guess you already knew anyway."

E just smiled, kind of indulgently, which should have been odd but seemed perfectly in place. Even though Raenef had only met E just that day, he felt strangely comfortable around him, except for that intimidating bit. But yes, other than that, Raenef felt like he could just sit around and talk to E for ages. Maybe more than talk…Raenef felt himself turn red for a third time and quickly shooed away the more evil thoughts.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," Raenef said. "Bye mister!"

E just smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

**: Chapter Three :**

"Why don't you ever have anything to eat at your place, Raenef?" Erutis asked, her head in the pantry.

"Ask Chris," Raenef grumbled. "He's the one that ate everything. He was here earlier today."

"Yeah, I saw him on my way in," Erutis said, distractedly, opening up a bag of potato chips that must have been at least six months old. "This is vile, Raenef. Throw it away already."

"Where does Chris work now?" Raenef asked.

"Didn't he tell you?"

"Well, I forgot."

"Typical. At that grocery store, a couple blocks from our place."

_Our place_. It sounded so homey and cozy. Raenef scowled. His apartment was the exact opposite of Erutis and Chris'. Their apartment was a warm mixture of worn in furniture and vintage, antique knickknacks that Erutis randomly picked up. There were mismatching curtains and bedding and the place felt like a home. Erutis' boxing gloves and fencing swords and tennis rackets littered the ground, rolling around with Chris' soccer and basketballs. They were active; Raenef was not.

Raenef's apartment, on the other hand, was cold and white. Nearly everything in his place was white or metal or both. His bed had white sheets and a simple iron headboard. His room had a metal desk where slim, hard things were stacked, like c.d.s and books. His couch and chairs were white, surrounding a metal and glass coffee table. The walls were clean; Raenef had painted them himself with Erutis and Chris when he had first moved in. They used to be a horrible eggshell yellow color; now they were impeccably white.

The only somewhat homey touch was the shag rug (white of course) on the floor beside Raenef's bed that Erutis had insisted on Raenef having. They had to first have bleached it and washed it thoroughly twice before Raenef let it into his apartment.

"This place is so sterile, Raenef," Erutis complained, like she always did whenever she was over. "It's like a hospital waiting room, not a home."

"I like it like that," Raenef said, stubbornly. "I like it clean."

"It's not clean, it's totally empty," Erutis said.

Raenef walked into the bathroom but left the door open so he could still talk to Erutis. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her perched on one of the stark, white chairs. Maybe Erutis was right…no, no. He hated clutter. He loved the hard, clean lines of his apartment. Sometimes it was the only place where he really felt clean.

Raenef pulled out his make-up bag from underneath the sink. He uncapped the moisturizer and began rubbing it into his face.

"Oh god, you're going to work again?" Erutis asked. Raenef didn't even have to turn his face to know that Erutis was scowling.

"I go four times a week, you know that," Raenef said. The lotion made his pale skin glow with a pearly sheen. It had been a gift from Meruhesae and Raenef knew that it was expensive. But Meruhesae could afford stuff like that. He pulled out his eye shadow and began working pewter, shimmery shadow on his lids.

"You could get a perfectly nice job somewhere else," Erutis said. "If you want to bank on your looks, go work for a boutique or something. They're always looking for pretty, trendy boys like you to sell clothes."

"I'm not trendy," Raenef said, and smeared the shadow a little bit with his index finger. "And no boutique would give me nearly as much money as I earn now."

Erutis sighed. "I know you're tight for cash, Raenef," she said. "But if you never need money, you can always ask Chris or me. You don't have to do this."

Raenef uncapped the black eyeliner and carefully drew a line along his upper lashline, his lips parted slightly.

"I'm not broke," Raenef said. "But I would be if I stopped working; I don't work there because I have to. I do it because I want to. Where else can I work where I can make my entire rent for a month in a night?"

Raenef curled his long eyelashes and colored in the blonde, almost invisible lashes with black mascara. Suddenly, his eyes looked even bigger and dramatic. The black offset the green of his eyes in a startling way. Erutis sighed but it was a defeated one. Raenef knew that he had won, like he had multiple other times. His job was one thing he was set on; he would not give it up.

"Well…I hope you're not staying out too late tonight," she said.

"No, not that late. I'll be back at 3:00 by the latest."

"Three!" Erutis shouted. "It's a school night! No wonder you sleep through your alarm all the time!"

"I forget to set it," Raenef said, mulishly. "Anyway, what does it matter? I'll walk you home before going to work."

"Yeah right," Erutis said. "More like I'm walking you to work. You'd get jumped in two seconds walking around the streets looking like that, with all that make-up on. Have you been coming home this late all the times you work?" Erutis' voice had gotten more gentle, more maternal. Raenef softened a little.

"Yeah, kind of," he said. "When I get really tired, Ophie covers for me or Meruhesae lets me go. They're my friends too, you know."

Erutis sighed. "I know but _we're _your friends. Remember what I said about the money. If you want to stop working there, Chris or I could cover for you until you get a new job." Raenef walked into his bedroom and pulled on some clothes. He dressed in a lavender colored silk robe and pulled a heavy black jacket over it.

"Okay, I'll think about it," Raenef said, but both he and Erutis knew that it wasn't the truth. He emerged from his bedroom and Erutis stood up and gave him a look over.

"Well," she said, wryly. "I guess you clean up nice."

"Clean up?" Raenef repeated. "I guess you could call it that."

"Well come on, before it gets any later."

O

Raenef shooed Erutis away and entered the Demon's Lair alone. He passed by the typical bar and club area into the back. The Demon's Lair was two stories high and he pushed through the velvet and silk curtains to climb the staircase.

The Demon's Lair had a three tier system for their employees. The typical, third tier workers were like waitresses and waiters, who served the guests in the main area. They learned tricks such as bartending and sleight-of-hand to entertain the guests. If third-tier workers were popular with the guests, they were elevated to the second-tier level, who danced on the stage in the main area and could take one of the private rooms in the back for other matters if a guest wished it. The top of this convoluted social hierarchy was the first-tier workers who had their own, personal rooms on the second floor. The rooms were always divided by a glass wall; it was behind this wall where certain acts could be simulated and dances were performed. Crank, the owner, was fiercely protective of his first-tier workers and did not allow any physical contact between them and the customers. First-tier workers generally had regular customers.

Raenef located the room he was looking for and knocked. Meruhesae appeared at the door and smiled. She let him in; as of the moment, there was a filmy but firmly opaque curtain covering the glass wall. Meruhesae was the Mistress of the Demon's Lair; she was the top of the top, the first of the first-tiers. She handpicked her own guests, performing for whoever she wanted to; the guests never refused her. Her customers were high paying business men, corporate kings. And she had each one of them wrapped around her long, delicate finger. Raenef wondered when Meruhesae would leave this place and become the pampered trophy wife of one of her customers. It probably wouldn't be any time soon; Meruhesae was too fond of the empire she controlled here at the Demon's Lair.

"Who do I have for today?" Raenef asked. Meruhesae turned to the mirror and carefully applied a rose colored lipstick. She named off Raenef's customers, two being regular guests and one being unfamiliar.

"An hour each?"

"Well, the Rat wants two hours today; he's going on a business trip for a couple of weeks after that so I guess he wants more than his share." Raenef smiled at Meruhesae's nickname for one of his regular customers; she gave nicknames to all their customers. He did look an awful lot like a rat, with a pointed chin and nose and a whiskery beard. Raenef was a little disappointed at the news of the business trip, though; when the Rat was in town, he usually paid at least two visits a week and gave generous tips.

"You're getting popular," Meruhesae said.

"Still nowhere near you," Raenef answered. He could, to an extent, choose which guests he wanted, having the ability to reject certain customers. But the draw of money was too strong for him so unlike Meruhesae, he hardly refused anyone. Raenef was probably the third highest ranking worker among the first-tiered employees, first being Meruhesae, the second being Ophie whom Raenef ran into on his way to his own room.

"Hey," Raenef said.

"Hi." Ophie looked tired, as always. He had large, dark blue eyes that always looked drugged and haunted, like opium eyes. He was also an orphan but had been working at the Demon's Lair since he was fifteen full time; he was nearly twenty now but sometimes looked even younger than Raenef. Unlike Raenef, he didn't go to school. He was Crank's favorite and lived with him and was publicly Crank's, except Raenef (and everyone else) knew that Ophie and Meruhesae were actually lovers. Crank didn't know and it was best that it stayed that way. _Maybe that's why Meruhesae isn't leaving this place_, Raenef mused. He would, if he was in her position. But he wasn't and he loved his job as it was now.

"You look tired," Raenef remarked.

"I'm exhausted," Ophie admitted. He pulled his long, silky, blue black hair over one bony pale shoulder. "I've had three customers already. One right after another. I have a an hour break right now."

"I don't start until 10:00 either," Raenef said. "Want to come to my room? I'll make us some tea."

Ophie followed Raenef; Raenef slid his gold key into the door and turned it. The lock clicked smoothly. Raenef's room was the exact opposite of his apartment; it was lush and reeked of money. The cushions were silk and velvet; the small table in the corner, holding various cosmetics, shone sleekly, a rich mahogany. The marble, checkered ground was covered in opulent fur rugs of various animal prints. All of it was luxurious and lavish.

"Jasmine?" Raenef asked. Ophie shrugged.

"Whatever you have."

Raenef set a steaming cup in front of Ophie and took another and sat down before the other boy on a big, firm cushion. He placed a beaded pillow on his lap and set the hot cup down on top of it.

"Do you think I look like a girl?" Raenef asked.

"You ask me this every week," Ophie said. "And every week I tell you 'No Raenef, you're just very good looking.' And at least your name is gender ambiguous. I got stuck with a damn girl's name."

"No one thinks that 'Ophie' is short for Ophelia," Raenef said. "I think it's my hair."

"Crank likes our hair long and so do the customers," Ophie said, stifling a yawn. He pressed a bony, pale hand into his mouth.

"Tired?" Raenef asked.

"I always am," Ophie murmured. And Raenef suddenly felt something that was suspiciously like maternal protectiveness over the other boy. Although Ophie was older, he was the smaller of the two, impossibly thin and pale.

"Sleep," Raenef said, impulsively. "I'll wake you up in time, I promise."

"I can't sleep lately," he said.

Raenef hesitated, then opened a jeweled box on his dresser and took out two very small, white pills.

"Here," Raenef said, and handed it to Ophie. "Meruhesae gave them to me a while back. I haven't used them yet; I think I like my late night wanderings." He gave a wry grin. Ophie looked at the pills dubiously.

"It won't make me pass out for the night?" he asked. "I have a lot of people still left for tonight."

"It won't, I promise," Raenef said. "I'll wake you up in thirty minutes and you'll be fine."

Ophie looked at the pills one more time then put them carefully on his tongue and swallowed it with tea. Raenef helped him to the corner to a sleek, wooden daybed covered with sumptuous pillows and blankets. He tucked the other boy in carefully and Ophie smiled.

"Thanks Raenef," he murmured, and was asleep. Raenef stared at him a little longer. He often worried about Ophie but sometimes…sometimes he liked how frail Ophie was only because in comparison, he seemed so much more competent and able. Ophie was the only person in the world that made Raenef feel like a strong, normal person, not a weakling like his friends always treated him. Raenef stared at him for a minute longer, then walked over to his dresser and sat down. He pulled out his math textbook and opened it and started to study.


	4. chapter four

E made his way through the dark streets. People walking by gave him a wide berth; maybe it was the long hair, falling to the backs of his knees, or the long black cloak that billowed as he quickly moved, but he made an ominous figure. Picking his way through the dirty puddles and garbage on the ground, he came to a tall, glossy building and entered through the back door, gaining entrance with a narrow, silver key that he slipped back into his pocket.

Climbing the narrow staircase in the back of the building, he could hear music pulsating faintly from somewhere else. The music grew even quieter as he moved away from it. Standing on the landing, he felt mildly disoriented; he hadn't been here for awhile. Remembering where her room was, E turned left decisively and walked down the silent hallway, his shoes making no noise against the soft, plush carpet. The hall was lit only by small, elaborate candelabras on the walls, creating glancing light that bounced around the crystal decorations.

He stood before a sleek, dark wooden door and gave it a perfunctory knock. The door opened and a tall, oddly beautiful woman opened it and peered out. Seeing E, she smiled and opened the door completely, leaning against the doorframe, playing with one of the long tendrils of black hair like a little girl.

"E," Meruhesae said. "And what have I done to receive such a pleasure?"

E smiled. Meruhesae's face never ceased to surprise him though they had known each other for a long time. She had an almost inhumanely beautiful face, alien in its wide-set, large obsidian that turned down unexpectedly at the ends. Her complexion never ceased to lose its glow despite her questionable living habits, her cheeks naturally flushed faintly, her lips a bitten red.

"Are you going to invite me in, Mistress of the Demon's Lair?" E asked. "Or has this brothel stolen away your manners?"

"This is not a brothel," Meruhesae admonished. Her pale fingers were long and warm as they wrapped themselves around E's cold hands. She pulled him inside and closed the door firmly behind them.

"So this is a good time?" E asked.

"I can cancel my customers for the night," Meruhesae said, waving her delicate hand as though she could actually brush away her obligations with that physical act. "It's not every day I receive a visit from you." She put a kettle on a small stove in the corner of the room; it was so heavily decorated that it always surprised people when it had a use that was not merely being aesthetic pleasure.

"Coffee? You always like your coffee black, no?" Meruhesae asked.

"You know me well," E said, smiling. He was seated on one of the dark purple velvet chairs, shaped like an enormous pin cushion. His long legs were comfortable spread out to their full length in front of him. Sitting like that, he seemed to be a collection of long limbs settled on the ridiculous, frivolous cushion chair.

"What brings you to visit your old friend, E?" Meruhesae asked. As she walked over, she pulled a silk, pale pink robe around her and secured it with the length of ivory lace that matched the trim along the collar and sleeves. She settled herself on a matching chair of dark pink.

"Not so old, not even close," E said, smiling. Meruhesae returned the smile; E always has been the charmer, though it was a safe assumption to guess that most seductive words that fell from his mouth were empty.

"I met Krayon the other day," Meruhesae said, as she twisted her snaky, black locks into a heavy bun at the nape of her neck. She produced pins from the pocket of her robe and continued to talk as her fingers efficiently and dexterously worked its way through her hair.

"We had lunch; he is doing well though he is still the same immature boy who's looking for love," Meruhesae said. "We wished you were there."

"I'm sorry I missed it," E said, and did mean it sincerely. There were several more in their old crowd of friends but they had all dispersed over the years, disappearing into discontinued phone numbers in the address book.

"We were too," she said, finished with her fussing. With her hair pulled back, she was elegant and serene, like a mistress of a honorable house, not a brothel, as E had called it, though with a touch of humor. The tea kettle began to whistle and as Meruhesae busied herself with pouring hot water into a couple of cups, making tea and coffee, E casually mentioned, "I'm teaching now."

"Oh?"

"Yes. At Eden Academy."

"Eden?" Meruhesae turned back around, surprised.

"Yes."

"That place is the furthest thing from paradise, the garden of Eden," Meruhesae said, her forehead creased delicately in disapproval. She was thinking of Raenef; though she was not stupid and knew the value of a good education and the even greater value of graduating from a prestigious school, she had no love for the school Raenef attended. She had, on an odd occasion, even gone there, to stand in as Raenef's guardian before he had turned eighteen and had been appalled at the mindless drones the school seemed to be full of. And they were much too harsh on their children. They were only kids! Yet they were expected to work harder than any adult and then some.

She reflected, bitterly, on the hypocrisy she was thinking; who was she to say what was harsh? She was the Mistress of a brothel that had no qualms of hiring underage workers. Suddenly, she felt an overwhelming sensation of guilt, particularly towards Raenef and Ophie. Though they both, as well as others, insisted they quite enjoyed working at the Demon's Lair, it could hardly be considered to be considered a healthy occupation.

"I do not think you are a right fit for Eden Academy," Meruhesae finally said.

"I did not think so either," E answered, wryly.

"Did?" she echoed. "Something change your mind?"

"I feel as though I'm called there for ah-how should I say this? For a purpose."

"And you've found that purpose?" she asked. "I envy you, E. Things always seem to be so much clearer in your life."

"Clearer? Sharper perhaps, with the ability to cut," he said. "Raenef is my student."

The porcelain cup in Meruhesae's slender hand suddenly faltered then dropped completely onto the matching plate on her lap with a clatter.

"So that's why you find me now?" she asked. "To scold me for leading young children into a tawdry life?"

"I scold no one," E said. "He is not a child, not anymore, though I do not know when he started working here. He can make his own decisions and if he believes this is a good source of making money, neither of us can tell him to do otherwise."

"He's only been working here for the past year or so," she said. "He's been a first-tier worker since the day he came. There is absolutely no contact between the customer and the workers at this level."

"I know how the system works," E said. "Believe me, Meruhesae, I'm not here to condemn you."

"Then why are you here?"

"I want to ask you to look after him. Lower the amount he works but do not cut his salary either. I will pay for the discrepancy," he said, completely nonchalant.

Meruhesae stared at him in shock; never in the long years she has known E –over twenty, now!- had she ever seen him act so selflessly. Except when it came to…

"This doesn't have to do with _him_, does it?" she said, accusingly. "He's dead, E. And he's not coming back."

E smiled though the expression did not make his hidden thoughts any more visible on his face.

"Raenef," he said. "It's an odd name, isn't it? I never once thought I would come across it again."

"This boy is not him, he is not the same," Meruhesae said. "I can spot the differences from a mile away. They just happen to share the same name, that is all. It is a mere coincidence."

"Yet there is something there, something like an essence, is there not, Meruhesae? Don't you feel it too?"

Truthfully, Meruhesae _did _feel it, the inexplicable similarity between the young boy and their old friend. She could not put a finger on the likeness either; it was certainly not the appearance. This boy was almost an unnaturally light shade of blonde with green eyes; _he _had raven black hair like herself and E. He had cold eyes, such cold eyes, that only warmed when they saw E. But this was not right. She would not indulge E in his unhealthy obsession.

"No," she said, flatly. "There is absolutely nothing similar between the two. I think it would be wise for you to erase any connection your desperate mind has made. Help the boy, yes, but do not help him for the sake of Raenef, our Raenef. Because he is not coming back. You cannot bring the dead back to life."

E searched her face carefully.

"You are lying," he said slowly. "I know you can feel it too. I will help this boy for whatever the reasons. Do as I ask, Meruhesae."

She knew she could not disobey.

"I will begin cutting his customers tomorrow," she said. "But what will I tell him? He will think he is becoming less popular. He will be afraid that I am paying him in full out of pity."

"Tell him you are becoming more rigorous with his customers _because _he is becoming more popular," E said, firmly.

"I had been meaning to do this for awhile," Meruhesae mused. "He is getting quite a lot of requests these days."

"Then all the better," E said. "You can forget I ever came by and tell yourself you've been meaning to do this all along."

"How could I ever forget your visits, E?" Meruhesae asked, with a bitter smile on her lips.

"Goodbye Meruhesae," he said, and gently set the coffee on the small table beside him and swept out of the room, leaving the woman sitting on the soft chair, wondering why on earth she felt so depressed.

* * *

Raenef was exhausted. Absolutely spent. He stretched his limbs, sore and tired from dancing and playing his little lap harp. His throat was in pain from singing and making conversation. But he was still content. There was now an envelope of fresh bills waiting on his dresser. He tucked it carefully into his pocket and pulled the heavy, winter jacket over himself. Tugging on his rain boots, he checked the time. It was 3:30.

_Oh well_, he mused. _Erutis never has to know…_

His long hair glimmered palely against the dark of his coat, illuminating him even in the darkness. Raenef left through the same small, back door that E had come through earlier that night and began his long walk home. Sometimes when the weather was bad, or if he was feeling particularly paranoid, Raenef took the taxi home but today the night air was crisp and smelled clean even in the city. It was such an anomaly that Raenef decided to walk all the way home and save the money.

He was so intent on breathing in deeply and enjoying the silence of the normally busy city that he did not realize someone had fiercely gripped his upper arm until he was already half-dragged into the dark alley. Raenef realized with a start that there was no one else around. He could yell and holler but it was doubtful that anyone would even think to care. This side of the city had a bad reputation and the respectable people in this area would already be in bed with earplugs firmly in place. And the unrespectable people? They would only be more trouble. Raenef wondered if perhaps it would actually be safer to keep his mouth shut; better to try and attempt to take on one person than five more he could attract with his yelling.

"I've always wondered how you felt," the other person said, playing with the buttons on Raenef's coat. He held an extremely sharp knife to Raenef's throat with his other hand, warning him not to move with the razor sharp point. Only after Raenef had assessed his desperate situation did the words register in his mind. This was someone he knew. Closing his eyes (it was so dark in the alley that it hardly made a difference) and inhaling rapidly to calm himself, he realized the other person's voice was one that he knew. It was the Rat. Raenef didn't even know his real name, he was so used to calling him by Meruhesae's nickname.

"This is most improper," Raenef breathed, trying not to move his throat too much as he talked.

"Do you know how much I pay to see you dance around and sing in front of me?" the other man demanded. "I've given you sumptuous gifts and tips. I do believe I deserve a little more than the contrived act you give me back there!"

Anger flared inside Raenef, warming him.

"I would rather be without all of your favors than standing here like this," he said, and suddenly with one hand, pushed away the hand that held the knife as he kneed the other man hopefully in the right spot. The man howled in pain and staggered back so Raenef guessed he aimed right. He was shaking, however; the knife had come dangerously close to slicing his neck and only a desperate surge of adrenaline and strength had kept the knife from jerking too close.

"You will pay for that," the man said, as he got to his feet. He gripped the dagger differently, now. Now his position looked as though it was meant for nothing so less as stabbing. He lunged towards Raenef and Raenef dodged, banging his upper thigh painfully hard against the wooden crates next to him that he did not see in the darkness. He ducked and dodged again as the other man stumbled towards him. Raenef's coat became tangled with the crates as he came crashing down onto the ground, landing painfully on his right arm. He rolled onto his back to see the Rat looming above him, ready to kill. Strangely enough, though, the only thought in Raenef's head was assessing the burning pain in his elbow and wondering if it was broken. He closed his eyes tight as he saw the Rat draw back.

The sharp pain never came. After a second, Raenef dared to open his eyes and he saw the Rat being held by a taller figure by the arm that held the knife.

"I suggest you drop this disgusting weapon right now if you do not wish for me to disembowel you right here where we stand," the new figure said. His voice was bland and pleasant, as though they were acquaintances that had run into each other on the street and were exchanging obligatory pleasantries. His voice was kind, his words were not. The Rat dropped the knife and it rang as it hit the ground.

"Now, either you will leave here and never bother this person again," said the figure, gesturing towards Raenef, who was frantically trying to detangle himself and get away. "Or I will take your miserable knife and carve my name right into your chest. Or if you prefer to do things the legal way, it would be my pleasure to escort you to the police station where you can explain the situation."

"No don't!" Raenef said, frantically. "Don't take him to the police!" It would only cause endless trouble! He would be questioned, then his history would be taken into account, his job, and sooner or later, he'd probably be put under some sort of useless, dangerous social care. This city was corrupt and rotten through and through; Raenef preferred to slip silently through its system, not confront it through the police.

"Okay then, it's settled," the figure said. "Do you prefer print or cursive?"

That did it for the Rat, who wriggled free from the other man's grasp and, in essence, scampered way. Raenef did not even lament the loss of a good customer; that man was disgusting and wretched and Raenef hoped he would never have to see him again.

"Do you need help?" his savior asked.

"What? Oh, yes, a little. I think I'm stuck," Raenef said. The man knelt by Raenef's side and inspected it. Raenef's coat was helplessly tangled in the roughly made wooden crates. The stranger kicked away the Rat's knife and produced one from his own belt, one that had an intricately carved handle made of ivory. He carefully worked through Raenef's coat, finally cutting him free.

"I'm sorry about your coat," the man said. "Would you like me to replace it?"

"Oh no, _no_," Raenef said, horrified. "You've already done so much. No, it's okay, honestly. It's fine. I'm fine." _I just want to go home_, his mind added.

"Would you like me to walk you home?" the stranger asked, as though reading Raenef's mind. The stranger moved towards the opening of the alley and suddenly, his figure was bathed in moonlight, illuminating his features. Raenef smothered a gasp. It was E. _Of course!_ His mind crowed with pleasure. But his rational side panicked. What on earth would his _teacher _think if he saw one of his students parading through the streets dressed up like a tramp? And on a school night when he promised he would be working to bring his grades up?

Raenef wondered if E would recognize him. For a minute, he even considered banking on the fact that E _wouldn't _and have E walk him home. Raenef admonished himself inside his head; would the pleasure of being in E's company be worth revealing what he was? Had he completely lost his mind?

"No, no, I'm okay. Thanks for asking and thank you for everything. I..." Raenef tried to think of a reasonable reward and dug into his jacket, producing the thick envelope. Without thinking at all, he just handed the whole thing over to E, making sure to keep his face hidden in the shadows and behind his hair.

"A token of my appreciation," he said, and hurried away from E, face turned away from him the whole time. Heart thumping much too loudly, Raenef ran all the way home.


	5. Chapter 5

Raenef's heart was still thumping loudly although he had slowed down and taken several deep breaths before climbing the stairs to his apartment. He never took the elevator; small spaces, especially ones he had no real control over, made him much too nervous. He was only six floors up anyway so it wasn't _that _much of a trek…though Erutis and Chris always asked him why he was so skinny.

He felt a little thrilled and a little scared. And very much enthralled by E, his teacher/savior. Raenef, though he was attempting to ignore it, was starting to become very much intrigued by E and not in a mere curiosity sort of way. He was intrigued in a way that made him want to know E in every possible way, mental, physical, spiritual. All of them and more.

"Child's crush," he muttered to himself, as he passed the landing for floor three. He had seen this happen before. When they were fourteen, Chris had fallen completely and totally in lust with a teacher at their school; needless to say, his grades were spectacular that year but he had fought nearly every day with Erutis. Raenef wondered, then, suddenly realizing what that could have possibly meant. Had Erutis liked Chris all along? He shook he head at the thought; well of course. He was just too silly and wrapped up in himself to have realized it earlier. But now, Raenef's head felt strangely clear and perceptive. He felt as though little mysteries that he hadn't understood or even realized were unraveling in his head even as he methodically climbed the stairs.

"Adrenaline. Endorphins. Chemical reactions," Raenef said. That was all this was, this weird nirvana he had reached after being assaulted then saved by his extremely attractive, though very frightening, teacher. He was so wrapped up in reliving what had happened, replaying every movement, wondering what he could or should have done differently, that he did not notice the dark form leaning casually against his door until it spoke.

"It's five minutes after four, Raenef," said Chris, from the shadows. "And I need an explanation."

Raenef jumped about five feet into the air.

"Chris!" he gasped. "You almost gave me a damn heart attack!"

"Like you didn't?" Chris asked. "Dressed up like you are? This is worse than Erutis said."

Raenef narrowed his heavily lined eyes.

"Did Erutis put you up to this? Did she send you to make sure I made my curfew?" he asked, his voice dripping with irony.

"Just let me in, Raenef," Chris said. "It's freezing and we need to talk for awhile."

"I'm tired," Raenef said, simply. Truth be told, he felt absolutely buzzing with excitement and energy. But he wanted to be alone.

"Too bad," Chris said, and pushed his way past Raenef and tugged the other boy in, slamming the door behind them. Chris faced the other boy with his hands on his hips, shoulders squared, ready for the fight he expected Raenef to put up.

"She didn't put me up to this," Chris said.

Raenef walked away from his friend, into the bedroom and turned on the light. He sank down in front of his vanity, a thin, metal table with a frameless mirror, and pulled out a glass vial, one of many sitting on shiny surface, and poured some of contents onto a cotton ball. He began to slowly rub off his makeup.

He was sick and tired of his friends' meddling, babying him, pretending like he was too stupid and weak to take care of himself. And he was not in the mood for one of Chris' lectures, just spitting back what Erutis probably told him. But Raenef wasn't given a choice when Chris marched himself into the bedroom and stood at the doorway.

"She didn't," Chris said, again.

"I believe you," Raenef answered, his voice completely expressionless and monotone. He swiped the cotton ball over one eye. It came back black and smudged with mascara and liner.

"She told me you were working late. I asked where on earth you were working if you were getting home at three. She told me I wouldn't approve so I decided to come and see for myself. Do you realize I waited for you for an hour in the cold?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Next time you decide to pounce on me and scold me for my _night job_, I'll give you a heads up when I'm running late," Raenef said. His voice was strangely cutting in a way Chris had never heard before.

"I don't disapprove, okay?" Chris said. Raenef met his friend's eyes in the mirror. Chris sighed, in defeat and looked down.

"Okay, fine, I do disapprove," Chris said. "But not enough to yell at you or scold you. If you're working there, you're obviously working there for good reason and you've thought this through. I'm not going to judge you, Raenef, I'm your _friend_. I just don't know why you don't seem to believe it."

Raenef slowly worked the cotton ball over the other eye and turned in the metal stool to face Chris, face completely free of makeup.

"This is me, Chris," Raenef said. "This is who I am. I'm eighteen, almost nineteen. I've been working there since I was seventeen. It was illegal then. It's not illegal anymore as long as nothing happens. But more nights than not, I go there and I dance for sleazy, middle-aged men. If I'm lucky, they're business men who have some semblance of manners to not call me vulgar names and ask me to do disgusting things. I do all of this for money, for the thick envelope that I receive at the end of every week."

Chris' face contorted and for a second, he looked as though he was going to cry.

"Why are you doing this, telling me this, Raenef?" he asked. "Why are you trying to hurt me?"

"Because I want you to know what I do," he said, simply. "And that I've made that choice. Look at me, Chris. I can take care of myself without you and Erutis taking every step for me and carrying me across the way."

"We're only trying to help you."

"You're suffocating me."

Chris looked at Raenef, eyes wide. The last three words hung in the air, bitter and cold.

"Suffocating you? Is that how you feel?" Chris asked.

"I feel like screaming sometimes," Raenef said. His voice was measured and calm. Nowhere was the childish whine that Chris was so used to hearing. "Because no one seems to believe that I can take care of myself. I want to live without your unspoken judgments and your synthetic sympathy. I need time alone."

Chris searched Raenef's face. Although it was cold and smooth…there was something hidden there. A wealth of locked emotions. Chris could sense it, though he was not going to push it now. _Something happened_, Chris suddenly realized. He saw that Raenef's hands trembled a small amount, his nostrils slightly flared from breathing in quickly.

"I'm going," Chris said. "You want time? I'll give it to you, Raenef, if that's what you want."

He turned and left, emptying the doorway. Chris let himself out, closing the door behind him. Raenef got up and locked it, using both the deadbolt and the regular lock, just in case. He was starting to get paranoid. Anyone could follow him home, if they just waited, like the Rat had. He went back to his bedroom, closing and locking that door as well. He checked to make sure the windows were locked and the iron pole was firmly in place to keep the window from sliding open. He closed the blinds. Only then did he feel secure enough to sit back at his vanity.

Raenef stared at himself in the mirror. Without all the makeup, he looked like a little kid with a pale face and dark circles underneath his eyes. His narrow nose, wide eyes, and pointy chin made him look much too young. He picked up his brush and began to carefully work through the tangles in his hair. _No, not young_, he thought. _Starting now_.

* * *

Erutis was worried about Raenef mainly because Chris came home in a huffy storm. He paced around the apartment, slamming doors until she finally told him to stop before the landlord came and told them to be quiet. Chris was despondent and moody and refused to talk so it was a relief to get up before Chris and take an early morning jog. As her feet slammed the pavement rhythmically, Erutis tried to guess what had happened the night before. Obviously things didn't go well with Raenef and considering the time Chris came home at, Raenef couldn't have been home any earlier than at least three thirty. Erutis inwardly sighed; Raenef might as well be prostituting himself, working at that brothel.

Rounding the corner, a small café caught Erutis' eye. She checked her watch; _still have some time_, she mused and walked towards it.

"One drip coffee to go please," she ordered at the counter. Cradling the hot cup between her hands, she turned around only to run immediately into a tall man standing too close behind her, splashing the hot coffee on the floor and down her front.

"Shit!" she yelped. "What's your problem? How about you give me some breathing room, huh?" Erutis frantically pulled the t-shirt away from her body but her chest still burned. She glared up into the face of the person responsible.

"My apologies," he said, holding out his hands, open palmed, as though in submission. He was tall, much taller than Erutis, so that she had to crane her neck to glare at him in the face. He was good looking, to the point of being intimidating, but Erutis was too angry in the current situation to really be awed.

"Yeah thanks, a whole lot of good that'll do," she snapped. She threw the empty cup into the trashcan and stormed out of the café, wishing she had just headed home. Now she was barely going to have enough time to shower the smell of coffee off of her before running to school; and her chest still burned fairly painfully.

Erutis started to run back to her place when she heard someone calling her. Exasperated, she turned around to see that it was the guy from the café, running after her. His long, copper hair was completely ablaze in the morning sun. If he was attractive indoors, he was shocking in natural light. And this only infuriated Erutis more.

"Stupid pretty boys thinking they can charm anyone," she muttered, as she watched him approach.

"Here," he said, and handed her a new cup of coffee. "I would like to-" He stopped talking, surprised, when Erutis accepted the coffee and abruptly turned back around and started walking home. He fell into step with her, much to Erutis' anger. She quickened her pace, only to be evenly matched by the other man.

"What?" she snapped, stopping suddenly. She whirled around to face the stranger, breathing quickly.

"I'd like to offer my apologies," he said, smoothly, and not out of breath at all. He appeared to be at ease, a hand resting carelessly inside his pocket.

"Okay, I accept your apology, now fuck off, okay?" Erutis said, and started walking away. It took her several more steps to realize that he was still following her.

"What now?" Her voice was rising to a screech, turning back to the stranger. He was looking at her, a small smile playing on his lips, hand to his chin thoughtfully. He was…if Erutis didn't know any better, she'd say that the bastard was _appraising _her!

"Do I look like a painting to you?" she asked, irritably.

"For all your crass words," he said. "I find you undeniably charming."

Of all the things Erutis was anticipating, that was certainly not one of them. Her mouth opened and closed several times without noise, something that hardly happened. She was suddenly aware of the morning sun beginning to beat heavily on the top of her head and shoulders; the heat matched the one that rose from her cheeks, hot and visible.

"Are you…_hitting _on me?"

A small frown appeared on the man's face, his brow wrinkling delicately. "I thought I had more manners than that, if that's how it came across to you," he said. "I was complimenting you, I thought."

"Are you crazy?" Erutis could hear her own voice rising shrilly and painfully. "I have to go, I'm late."

"Wait!" He grabbed her arm, near the elbow and she jerked it out of his grasp. "Do you have a cell phone?"

"Of course I have a cell phone," she snapped. She took hers out of her pocket to demonstrate, waving it around in front of him. Before she realized what the other man was doing, he had plucked it out of her grasp.

"What do you think you're doing? Give me my phone back!" The man smiled at the childish lilt in her whine. He punched in his number into her cell and pressed send, and smiled, satisfied, when he felt his own phone vibrate in his pocket. He gave the phone back to Erutis, who stared at him dumbfounded.

"Of all the rude, arrogant-"

"Didn't you say you were late?" he asked, cutting her insult off.

Erutis checked her watch and yelped. "I am _not _through with you!" she said, turning away from him and walking away.

"I'm glad to hear that," he called after her. "You can save the number under "Krayon," that's my name. What's your name?"

Erutis didn't even bother turning around and just waved an exasperated hand over her shoulder.

"Psycho," she muttered, as she walked away. Krayon smiled at her retreating form and saved her number in his phone.


	6. Chapter 6

_They rolled in the bed that was so hot it seemed to scorch the flesh that touched it. Dark, velvet hair pooled on the satin sheets, mingling with the finer, silkier strands of the other's hair that stuck to both of their bodies. _

_They were similar, very similar, in stature and appearance so that one might think there was only one and a mirror in the room. The mythical narcissus drowning unwittingly in the vision of himself. The pool was made not of water here but of heavy, thick fabric that rose and fell like waves, when air was taken captive in its folds or released. _

"_I want to live a long time and stay here…with you, Eclipse," said the haunted one. His eyes, normally as flat as a painting, was bright, almost feverish, as though the power within him consumed him._

"_You will," Eclipse breathed._

_The other smiled but it did not quite reach his eyes or hide the fact that neither of them believed Eclipse's words. _

* * *

Raenef was up before his alarm went off. The gray quality of the light that filtered in through his slatted blinds marked an overcast day. Raenef felt as though he was wound up too tightly and he shook his limbs to try to shake away the unnerving feeling.

"Might as well get started on the day," he muttered, and grabbed a clean towel before dropping it on the floor and stepping into the shower. He gritted his teeth to brace himself for the first blast of cold water, then slowly relaxed as his body adjusted to the unheated water spilling over the top of his head. It beaded and rolled off his shoulders, down his back and stomach. Raenef didn't bother forking out the extra money for heated water unless there was snow on the ground.

After washing, he sat in front of his vanity and carefully rubbed the towel through his hair. Pale and bedraggled, Raenef could not see a single element in his face that could possibly charm E. Actually having the time to think about what he would wear, instead of running out the door in his pajamas, Raenef started pawing through his clothes, trying to track down pieces of his uniform. Finding a rumpled, white button down shirt and gray pants but unable to locate a tie, he decided this was such a departure from his usual worn t-shirt and slacks that the faculty at school probably wouldn't care if he wore a tie or not. His blazer was hung next to the silky robes that he wore often when working; the clothing looked odd juxtaposed next to each other.

It was only by luck that he caught sight of his scarf peeking out from the back of his closet, and the first step he took outside made him grateful for it. He locked the door and jiggled the handle to be sure; the door was getting loose and Raenef was sure any surly thug with the mind to do it could break into his place. Then again, who in the right mind would? No one could possibly tell from the decrepit building and the desolate appearance of his apartment complex that he had a fortune hidden away in crevices and nooks of his place. But he knew, and that made him paranoid.

Walking to school, he watched his breath escape his mouth, white and visible, rushing up to disappear into the gray, filmy sky. Debating whether or not he was too cheap to get coffee this morning, he passed by without stopping at the coffee shop that he, Erutis, and Chris usually frequent. _Before things started getting weird_, Raenef though. He caught sight of a tall, copper-haired man sitting inside the coffee shop looking expectant. Raenef forgot what it felt like to be that excited but seeing that man look so hopeful and at ease reassured him in a strange way.

As Raenef passed, the man suddenly looked up and his shockingly bright copper eyes caught his own, and smiled. Raenef returned the smile but it was for himself, for with that smile came a promise. Raenef promised himself that one day, he would also be able to sit alone like that, relaxed and content in waiting, satisfied with the moment of calmness, needing nothing more.

* * *

Chris steamed and huffed for exactly two days while Erutis tip-toed around him, annoyed yet not willing to bother dealing with his ridiculous anger. On the third day, Erutis left him to take a walk. It was night and the air was cool, though not particularly fresh (it was the city after all). She sighed audibly, the bottoms of her jeans scraping the pavement; she periodically had to hitch up her jeans over her bony hips. Erutis felt the last few days she was starting to think thoughts she shouldn't; thoughts she would have never thought she would begin to think.

The absence of Raenef from their threesome was jarring, as though there was a large gaping hole at her side. She and Chris agreed to give him time. It was odd to see him in class, looking so studious and innocent, taking copious notes. Erutis knew Raenef was also embarrassed, ashamed at how he had struck out against his closest, his only friends. She trusted that he would come back to them. But in the meantime, Raenef's forcible separation from the group made Erutis entertain different possibilities in her mind. Their relationships were fluid; though she was practically married to Chris at this point, living together as they were with no intention of stopping any time soon, she couldn't help wondering perhaps there were other possibilities for her out there. Other choices she could take. She was eighteen; she did not want to be married.

Though she never had much popularity among boys, there were a few in the years that followed her around like puppies, begging for a date. Their willingness charmed Erutis, though in the same second, made her pity them. She could never date them. All of them couldn't even begin to measure up to Chris (who she always measured boys against; he was, after all, the first boy she ever liked). Jayden had a perpetually runny nose; Ansley smelled like steamed carrots; Cant was too moody, trying too hard with his tortured artist persona.

If someone smart, strong-willed, attractive came along, would she consider leaving Chris? Had she only stayed with him out of convenience and lack of opportunity?

Erutis did not like these thoughts; she never questioned her feelings for Chris and did not know why Raenef separating from their group was making her question them now.

Maybe it was not Raenef who caused her to rethink her relationship with Chris.

Maybe it was the man sitting at the window of the same café she was at several days earlier.

The same man who she met that very day.

He saw her and his face broke out into a radiant smile. He had previously been sitting, one hand on his chin, staring into the street with a rather self-satisfied look on his face. But the smile on his face now was bright and enthusiastic, no trace of smugness. And maybe that enthralled Erutis a little, that she rendered someone she barely knew so smitten that his emotions could so easily be written across his face.

The café was lit with a hundreds of little lights, framing the windows, wrapping around the topiary trees flanking the doorway. Erutis stepped into their light and stared at Krayon, taking the moment to study his face. He allowed her to and she appreciated this; she appreciated that he did not move from his spot inside the café, that he let her stay safe behind this barrier of glass. Chris was pushy and imperceptive; he would have wanted to know what she was doing. He would have grabbed her by the arm to drag her into the café with him, or maybe out into the street. This man was different. It was as though he could sense her unpredictability, as though she was a nervous deer, and if he made any sudden movements, she would run away.

For that was how Erutis felt. Her heart was pounding, even just looking at this man. His face was carved with much more precision than most; his features were molded from stone. His hair seemed to soak in the dim, café lighting in a way that no one else's did; the copper burned into the color of deep, red embers. Erutis was sure her fingers would burn if she ran them through the kinked locks. She avoided his eyes; if she looked at them she knew she would be lost. Slowly, her senses seemed to leave her. She no longer heard the steady noise of traffic behind her; smell no longer reached her nostrils. The night air was imperceptible on her skin. Only her eyes worked, locked onto Krayon's face, as though possessed.

Then, with considerable effort, Erutis turned her eyes away, and then with more effort, turned away from him entirely. Then she began to run away from him, run as fast as she could.

She was thankful that he did not attempt to follow her.

* * *

Raenef was hurrying down the corridor towards his room at the Demon's Lair when he was roughly pulled by the arm and into a little, darkened niche in the hallway.

"Hey, cut it out!" he whined, once he realized who it was. He untangled his arm from Ophie's surprisingly strong grip. Raenef was even more paranoid and jumpy after his encounter with the Rat and this wasn't helping. Ophie ignored him and pushed the other boy further into the shadows and ventured a look out into the hallway.

"Someone was here looking for you," Ophie said, lowly. "Actually there were two."

E's face flitted before Raenef's eyes and his breath caught in his throat.

"Who?" he asked, breathlessly.

Ophie frowned. "One of them I think was a customer. He was vile."

"What was he here for?"

"He was complaining, saying you did him a great injustice," he said. "Screaming and throwing a fit until he just disrupted _everyone_ even people downstairs and you can hardly hear anything down there over that music."

"That must have been the Rat," Raenef said, frowning slightly. After that night, his thoughts were mainly on E and he hadn't pondered the possibility that E hadn't taken care of the Rat for good.

"The Rat?" Ophie repeated. "Yes, I think that's what Meruhesae called him."

Raenef groaned. "Oh no, Meruhesae found out?"

"I told you, he disrupted everyone."

"How mad is she?" Raenef asked. Meruhesae was strict on propriety and she considered customers to be guests to the Demon's Lair; and guests were never disrespected.

"She isn't," Ophie said. "And it's all because of _him_. The second person who came looking for you."

Raenef's heart was fluttering in his throat. "Describe him."

"He was tall and dangerous looking. Look, Raenef, are you involved with him? Because I can see the appeal but he also doesn't look like he would be someone that would make another happy. Like I said, he looked dangerous."

"That's E," Raenef said, inadvertently clutching Ophie's thin arm. "E was here!"

Ophie looked at him strangely and pried Raenef's fingers away from his upper arm. "Yes, well, he said something to the man – the Rat, I think you called him?- and made him leave. Your customer was still furious but he still left. Nothing Meruhesae said could do that. Then the other man, E, spoke with Meruhesae for awhile. Then I thought I heard you coming so I came around to warn you."

"He's not my customer anymore," Raenef said, fiercely. "And I'll make sure of that."

Ophie shook his head. "Judging from how hard he slammed all the doors on his way out, I don't think he's coming back."

Raenef pushed past Ophie and ran to his room; maybe he would still be here. Maybe he was waiting for him.

His hand hesitated, wavering on the jeweled doorknob. Summoning the courage, Raenef opened the door.

His room was empty.

It was as though all of the energy was sucked out of his stomach, and Raenef literally staggered with disappointment, sagging against the doorway. He felt a sympathetic hand on his back and knew it was Ophie.

"I'm not involved with him," Raenef sighed. "He wouldn't have someone like me."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Ophie asked, perhaps a bit wounded at the possibility of implying something negative about their occupation.

Raenef did not answer; he suddenly noticed an envelope on his table. It seemed to take an eternity to move to the small, jeweled table but he was there and he stared down at the envelope. Opening it, he realized it was all there, every last bill. He upturned the envelope and the money came flitting out of it, spilling out onto the surface of the table, falling to the floor. The last thing to fall from the envelope was not a bill but a small yellow piece of paper that Raenef grasped for. Mentally preparing himself, Raenef forced himself to read the note.

_I appreciate your token of appreciation; the money belongs to you. I will see you again to receive payment n another form._

The note dropped from his shaking hands.

"You are in trouble," Ophie remarked. Raenef found he had to agree.


End file.
